Saying Goodbye
by Roxas-kurama
Summary: When Roxas decides that being Nothing is too much to handle, can his only friend stop him from ending it all together? Mild implied AxuRoku


Disclaimer: I own only the plot. Location-- Square Enix and Disney Characters-- Square Enix and Disney. Get it? Got it? Good.

I've been told that this has a very extremely mild implication of AkuRoku, I didn't mean to write it in, but if I did, you've been told

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Walking solemnly through the abandoned city, the young blond couldn't help but wonder why the weather never seamed to change here. He never felt the noontime sun on his face, yet his skin retained a slightly sun-kissed glow. He'd never felt the rain either, or seen the miracle known as snow. The world he lived in deemed it necessary to keep him forever in the darkness of night. Sighing mournfully, he turned his large blue eyes to the moon, which always shone down upon the dark, desolate city.

"Out for another walk?" Turing abruptly, the blond boy saw who had broken the silence of the night. It was only his best friend, leaning calmly against a cold stone building, clad in his traditional black trench coat.

"That's a stupid question Axel." Axel just shrugged, flipping his long red hair off of his sharp shoulders.

"Maybe the question was fine, and you're stupid." Axel always possessed a supercilious quality that he made no effort to get rid of, rather, when the opportunity presented itself, he intensified it.

"No, the question was superfluous. I'm not at home, and there's never anything to do here. Besides, you could see that I was walking."

Shaking his head Axel pushed off the wall and to a standing position.

"Lets just go back, okay Roxas? There's no reason to stand out here all night." The red-haired man extended his black-gloved hand to the younger blond, offering to lead him home.

"It's always night." Roxas was sinking, he could feel it in the pit of his soul. His body wasn't falling into an abyss, but his mind was slowly slipping into oblivion. He wanted that feeling to stop, no matter what.

Roxas looked up into the green eyes of his best, and possibly only friend. They weren't just green; the orbs that sat there on Axel's face retained a green akin to new spring leaves. An impossible color, especially in the dark night of the endless city. The expression in those eyes was somehow painful, as though Axel knew that this walk would be Roxas' last.

Roxas often walked the deserted streets, always looking for something, something that would make the aching in his chest go away. He never discovered what secrets the others like him held. Demyx, in particular must have known something, some unknown remedy that allowed him to stay so happy. Demyx, or just Dem, had a tendency to run about the halls, often playing his sitar and singing loud, joyful songs. Most found his convivial attitude enjoyable and refreshing compared to the melancholy mood that usually befell everyone on this world. Roxas just found it annoying. As did Axel, who'd made a game of chasing Dem down and beating up the musician, once caught.

"Roxy, come on, we need to get back." Axel requested again, a slight plea entering the voice normally filled with a profusion of sarcasm.

"I'm not going back Axel. They won't miss me." Roxas had never given death much thought as far as the others knew. But that was not the case. Roxas had just always assumed that anyone who contemplated it aloud was just looking for attention. If they meant it, he reasoned, they wouldn't go around saying they were going to kill themselves, they'd just find a quiet way to die. So, that is what Roxas chose to do.

After hundreds of aimless walks and hours of meaningless 'soul searching' Roxas had come to one conclusion. The only way to feel better was to stop feeling at all. That was what this walk was about. It was his final walk, his death-march, and his chance to say good-bye. But, he didn't find anything to say good-bye to, not until Axel had appeared, leaning on the side of that building.

"Axel," Roxas started, not sure how a soon-to-be suicide should go about saying good-bye.

"Don't Roxas, if you have something to say, say it back at the castle." Axel's hand never dropped back to his side. He left it outstretched, in a feeble hope that Roxas would take it, and let him help.

"Roxy, you aren't the only one who has wanted a way out…"

"Oh, yeah? Who else has? Have you? Well Axel? Have you ever gotten so tired of feeling that you're willing to let go, even of your superior attitude?" His simple stream of questions had become so much more. He was yelling now, and he didn't want to yell, not at Axel, not since this was the last time he'd talk to Axel. But, all the pain he'd been hiding was finally being released, and Roxas had lost his ability to feign contentment. "What about Zexion, the book worm? Has he ever tired of his books? What about Vexen and his precious experiments? What about Demyx? Has the Melodious Nocturne ever felt so lost?"

"Of course we have Roxy," Axel's face bore two tear-shaped tattoos, and now real tears joined them, in a torrent of pain. "None of us know what's going to happen next, all we can do is pretend to be happy, and keep walking on. Please, Roxas, let us help. Let ME help."

"How can you help Axel? How can anyone?" Roxas was crying now too, but he wasn't sure why. He'd tried to cry before, thinking that tears could act as valves for his pained 'heart', and take the pressure off. But, he always found his eyes dry. Now, once he'd made his final decision, he couldn't stop the flow of salt water from his sapphire eyes.

"Roxy, please." Axel stepped forward slowly, closing the distance between him and his best friend.

"You can't stop me Axel." Roxas wanted to back away so that Axel couldn't stop him, as it was obvious he was here to do. Alas, Roxas' legs felt like jelly and no matter what command his brain sent, his body wouldn't respond.

"Roxas, I already have stopped you. Can't you see that? If I hadn't, you'd be dead by now." Axel closed the final stretch between him and Roxas, pulling his friend into a presumptuous embrace of arms and tears.

"Axel stop hugging me."

"No, if I let you go, we'll never see you again."

"No one would miss me."

"Don't you understand you selfish brat? I would miss you! If I wouldn't miss you, why would I be standing here holding onto you! I'd have let you go! Are you really that stupid?"

"Maybe I am."

"Come on Roxy," Axel lifted his friend gently off the ground, preparing to carry him the 10 long blocks back to the Castle That Never Was. "I'll let you be garrulous back at home."

"I'm not garrulous, you're the one who likes to discuss the never changing weather."

"Sooner or later everything changes, even the weather."

"Says who?"

"Shut up Roxas." A long silence passed between the two of them. Only the soft sound of Axel's boots clicking on the pavement broke the hush that had fallen over the world.

"I can walk just fine, put me down Axel."

"No. Didn't you hear me before? I'm never letting you go."

Roxas felt two drops of water on his cheeks. Assuming they were more tears he prepared to scold Axel for being such a baby. But then, two more drops hit him, and three more, and five more. Looking up at the normally clear sky Roxas saw the source of the unwanted water. Thick dark clouds had rolled in from some unknown place, turgid with rain. Thick, dark droplets of rain.

"Told ya the weather had to change sometime."

'Maybe,' Roxas thought to himself, 'Maybe Axel's right. Maybe everything does have to change sometime.'

The two continued on home, to a bleak castle of white marble. Roxas fell asleep sometime during the journey, exhausted from his outburst of pain and confusion. Axel just hummed the only lullaby he could remember from his Others life. He tried not to think of what would have happened if Demyx hadn't noticed Roxas trying feebly to write a good-bye letter. Or if Zexion hadn't seen Roxas leave the castle without his normal coat and blades. Axel would have to thank them later for warning him. If Roxas had died tonight, Axel would have surely died too. That was the way with people like them. Nobodies had to stick together. So did best friends. And they were both.

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OK, so, my first fanfiction. I actually wrote it instead of simple sentences for my Lit class. That would be why there are some ridiculously long and rarely used words thrown in it, I needed to use them to get a grade. So, yeah, be as brutally honest as you see fit. The more criticizing reviews I get, the better writer I can become. ^_^


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